Cold blood is running trough your veins. Totally opposite of the passionate warm almost burning pain you feel. How can two so deep things be so different from each other. You say it’s unfair. Darling you are right. This life , which is painted by watercolours and was washed away. And still remained around you the darkness of your soul. The black of the darkness surrounded the lights and now swallowed them all. Of course , you wonder how was that possible. You seem to get even more confused. You know what, that’s the point of it. Explaining something which should help, just makes you even more fallen in the land of nowhere.
But let’s see forward. Let’s draw the lines of the shining pain of your life. You look in the mirror. What you see it’s damn scary. A ghost with broken soul. And sadly no matter how hard you try you still couldn’t learn to fly with your golden broken wings. And you struggle , struggle with each memory lane, with each subconscious thought . Your mind is driving you crazy. You can’t step out of the world of your depressing mind.
You slowly start to hear a melody , calming sound from far. But it’s like an endless circle. It starts over and over again. The calming sound as you wait turns to loud bothering drum beating. Well, believe it or not, that’s your cold blood’s sound while beating in you half dead , half alive heart. The beating gets louder and louder, your heart is so beating so hard that it almost jumps out of your chest.
You can hardly breath. Again, this bright night is different then the others, but you can’t help feeling like this. You fall even more down each time you try to catch my hand. I shout your name, and get no answer. Just a matter of time till I hear your tearjearking scream. You really are falling and you can’t reduce speed. I finally hear as your heavy dark tears hit the ground. It’s so scary to see you that way.
You probably wonder what I think now. But to be honest I know everything. I see and feel what you feel, I hear your thoughts in my ears, my head is blowing up from just looking at you. And you , you’re still alive having all those breathtaking memories, outstanding cries.
You can’t see me, I’m your guardian angle’s soul’s shadow. I collect your tears , turn them to diamonds, and keep them for the day when I can sell them and buy happiness of their price. I’m so sober when I see you this way, but I fly around you, I keep you in my wings. If you fall down I’ll always stay on the edge of your heart telling you there is still life, even when the dark smoke is going down on you. He sent me to protect you, and I shall never give up on you. I love you. You’re my shrivelling flower and i’m going to turn you to my crimson clothed rose.
