What kind of love - Avantasia

just a song

Looking for some peace

Lately you feel too much down. But you can't help it. This place started to be your hiding place from the depression around you, from the things people feel. You wanted to make them see the advices you give, now it turned to be hell's gate. And again you come to spread your sparkling pain.

The castel you built up, so easily, so full of hope, with pure passion now is falling appart. Easily but really quickly. And leaves your heart an open sore. And you love to watch that picture. The picture of the fading life. The picture of your own deep unclearness.
The castel used to be a place where you belongt. That's past of course. Now you're all down , deep digged in the path of darkness. And for everyone's strange eyes you seem to enjoy it like hell. You enjoy every moment of pure sanity, of perfect pain.

The pain as always just runs trough your vains. You slowly try to do everything to wash away your thoughts. They seem far from your head. now you don't want to change miracously all your life. You get selfish deep down and you just want to kill your heart even more. If we talk about pain.. let it be just wonderful, crimson and passionate.

It's like self harm. And as long as you feel deadly afraid of cutting, hurting or suicide you just make you fall to pieces. These pieces will only be put together when the sun is going to burn again. So equal to nothing.
Music is playing in your mind on and on... each song you hear kind of kills a little part of you. Some for not having something , others for having it. Deep inside your wounded heart. Emotionally attached to pain. What a pleasure. To make all darkness come around and collect all your fears. To wipe away all your blood. To make you see the falling. You only love to make yourself feel all the misery. When you start to feel the effect you feel horrible.

The effect is amazing. You’re in affinity with the dark, mysterious loneliness. With the master of hurts, the PAIN. Oh, now you feel like killing everything around even more. And you can do it. Cause no one can see you. No one ever cares. So why would things be different ever.

You feel like enjoying your own torture. Now that you harmed your life so hard you feel proud. Sad but true, cause there is nothing you could be proud of.You can’t stop the hurt. Like blood is running trough all your body, from the fingers to the toes. The warm crystal tears run down again. OH, how you love them. The salty taste of them, the clear which they bring by washing away all the fog from your eyes. The deep nothingness along you. The lonely life painted with broken hearts.

And you’re all alone. As always. And even if you feel like this, you still need a way out. But you don’t speak out. You just leave it that way. You just want it all to end. You got fed up. And I see, I see your heart, soul, and pain. And you feel like screaming, and tears come to your eyes cause you can’t get out a sound. You suffer all alone in the silence my angel. The angel of purity and innocence who fallen in mud.

If anyone could come and wash away your pain. If they could clear all your sins away ... they’d make you perfect and beautiful. Candles burn slowly, they are waiting for you to kill them. But you still stay there and silently die near them.

In a way i understand why you kill yourself so much inside. I understand how is to make yourself bleed in order to feel something. To feel so down, under the hell’s gates just not to feel numb.

You’re afraid of loosing yourself. Darling wake up from the nightmare. You already did loose yourself. Please say you can do it. But you just hang there all alone... dieing.. and you don’t feel like ever waking up.